“It’s a badge of honor for your average wingnut. Assholes are LEADERS. They tell it like it is.” Bonus points if they scold you for being intolerant of their assholish behavior.

Your comment needs to be the top comment. I can practically hear them setting up their GoFundMe page so they don’t “have to make Mary the Maid of Honor”.

“It’s probably a weird time for Knox”

God, I wish that season lived up to its potential.

Clowns don’t use such heavy handy methods as machete-wielding. Their terror is far more refined!

“and chased him—or her!—with a machete”

They truly just can’t help themselves.

“roiling fecal sea”

Now that right there is what they call “vision”.

You have become the Mazin to TomatoFace’s Cruz. God bless you.

“the reality of the situation doesn’t make me less of a man” The fact that we’re still at a place where he feels he needs to qualify his situation like this is awful. Hang in Thurmanator.

You deserve more stars for this

The only thing they hate more than women, minorities, Muslims, gun control, the Gay Agenda, France, liberals, socialism, unions, evolution, and Elizabeth Warren is reasonableness.

Dude was 56? Damn, looks more like 81 in that photo.

I find this both informative and horrifying.

“Billboards are expensive.”

I dunno, I’m pretty sure he’s mouthing the words “Did I mention they were black!?”

I get the impression the security guard actually thought he had a shot of catching that kid. Like his mind was telling him “You got this.” And then his body had to painfully remind him that this was not remotely the case.

“The hype might not get to his head, but my fists would.”

I’d like to imagine this play squeezed out the few remaining tears any Colts fans might have been holding back.