My fiance and I met over Tinder - I’m a Tinderella - and I 100% tried to ghost him after we slept together on the night we met after messaging back-and-forth for a few weeks. He caught me trying to leave in the very early morning and convinced me to stay with arguments that began with “it’s still dark out” and ended…

Look all I really want from this movie is like a half hour of Gaga’s voice huge and ringing like the doom of foolish men but it doesn’t look like I’ll get it sooooooooooooo

This post is a genuine, vacuous delight.

‘I’m a very famous person, unfortunately.’

A few years back I was invited to a sluts and vicars costume party for Halloween. I was in need of of dog collar ( the sort that dogs wear) and a leash so decided to go to Pet City to purchase one. I tried a few on instore because wasn't sure if I would be small or medium for the collar. Whilst I had one on the…

Jesus.

I am extremely upset and disappointed with myself because I KNEW what this was gonna be and I CLICKED ANYWAY. 

This is dandy, but I really recommend Overdrive. It works with your local library to let you check out and read ebooks and listen to audiobooks. I read/listen on my Kindle, but lots of other devices work too. It’s basically magic.

I am still feeling smug that my daughter (born in 2017) has a name that is classic but hasn’t been ranked in the top 1000 social security names for the past 100 years. She will not live my life as a mid-80s Ashley, with five other kids with her same goddamn first name in her class.

Oh god, they’re related to Robert the Bruce.  I’m related to Robert the Bruce.  I’m part of this now.

We’re FAMILY.

If I had to hazard a guess, I’d probably guess that you weren’t raised under a rock ... you’re probably just white. But, trust, this is SOOOO a thing; like, it’s been written about in mainstream publications like USA Today a thing. I’m pretty sure it’s not that obscure.  My recommendation:  go tell five white people…

Whoa! That lady can channel some inner peace and calm. Either that or she was channeling her rage into politeness... I do that when I get _REALLY_ angry, so could be that, too. (If you ever see me start to get angry, then get really calm, it’s a bad sign)

I’m fairly certain that anyone who ever read anything by Steinbeck could have guessed this.  

On my playlist to this day. No one did brat as good as her.

Whatever you say Malissa Vandella.

This is such a fucking insult to the real Avril. RIP.

Many, MANY people thought this. What better self-aggrandizement than to say he got into the primary as a lark and almost became president over all those know-nothing Washington types. “And I wasn’t even really trying!”

Oh, yeah. The shots of his pork pie face right after the announcement said it all-- “Oh, fuck.”

Agree. He thought he would lose and start his own Fox News-esque tv/radio shows and get to yell all day about Hillary’s emails and the deep state protecting her. Then he won. And we lost big-ly.