Dammmn. At said Subway, my husband and baby were at the baby-store a few stores down the strip mall. I can’t imagine..

I remember being ~2 months postpartum and feeling so svelte until the lady at Subway asked me how far along I was. I didn’t say, “Fuck you!” but I sure did want to.

Whatever you do, do NOT try to make a roux with almond milk. One of the worst mistakes of my life.

What is happening in the gif??

I was so disappointed in the pumpkin! Noosa is my favorite yogurt.

“Julianne Hough Climbs Tree with Shirtless Hubby & Brother” is a confusing headline. Having no idea Hough was married, I (for a split second) thought she married her brother.

TWINS!

Yep, my kid’s school has them. She’s in kindergarten. It’s a difficult conversation.

Hahaha, yes! There is a lot of romantic drama, especially in the first few.

I loved The Night Prince series. No shame. The Night Huntress novels are even better and Drac and Leila make appearances.

I’d like to throw The Night Huntress series out there. I just finished the last book and immediately re-borrowed the first one from the library. If you’re into audiobooks, the woman who narrates them is AWESOME.

No judgement. If I had enough money to totally transform the way my face looks, I’d do it in a heartbeat.

S Club 7!!! Forgot about them! I loved that group! Didn’t they have a show???

One of the very first things I learned about serving was NEVER sit down at a customer’s table! It’s a huge pet peeve of mine to this day. Even the kneeling thing makes me cringe big time.

“CAN YOU MAKE IT PURPLE!?”

I had no idea the green gummy bears were strawberry flavored. That makes no sense!

If I could guarantee that the manager had to clean it up, and not the waitress, then maybe... I did learn an important lesson: even if it appears to be vegetarian, ask to make sure it doesn’t have secret meat.

I’m just here to vent about a situation that happened to me a few months ago. A few friends and I went to a restaurant. One friend and I were both vegetarians and had never been to this place. We found the only vegetarian thing on the menu and we both ordered it. When it came to the table, it had pork in it! It did…

Haha, I mean, sure.. I could go up against Dakota.

I’m always afraid putting things is my tooth gap will make it worse.