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Lambs are so fucking cute. I moved to Scotland last year and this is my first lamb season—I have never squeed so much in my life. They are wondrously springy and I love watching them bouncing around the fields when I’m riding past on the train. My partner has a bunch of sheep farmers in his family and they invited us…

I won tickets to the premiere out of the paper. My excitement peaked so high that when 7 year old me saw the cast and total lack of series connection, I went to my room, hid under the covers and cried till I threw up.

They always remind me of the fake commercials from Welcome to Night Vale. They’re so perfect in their cold, absurdest nihilism.

I was conversing about this earlier. I am a fan of the ‘wander off mid conversation method’ of ending conversations. I feel like, though it’s more flashy, a smokeball would make me seem a little cooler and not quite as weird.

DON’T MAKE ME LIKE RIFF RAFF.

I have totally pumped and fed while pooping. Is it preferable? Nope! But when you spend eleven tenths of your life breastfeeding and pumping, schedules are bound to cross.

Not when it comes out that she got the degree by inviting a bunch of Arab children to see a play she was performing.

Right now? A little, when I wrote that? most certainly.

I still don’t get how she gets more offers than Leighton Meester. It is like the 1st season of Gossip Girl.

she got hot cheetos! that’s all you need!

Now THAT is how you do pregnancy fashion right.

I’m dying. DYING. Thank you for alerting to those of us less in the know about this.

No, it’s Becky.

That is badass and amazing!!! But you don't need a fancy party to wear it. You just need to go meet with a dashing burglar to convince him to steal your father's (forged) statue from a museum. (And now I have to go watch How to Steal A Million because young Peter O'Toole and Audrey Hepburn are damn perfect.)

What the fuck is this? It's badass and amazing is what it is. I wish I had a fancy party to wear this to because I love it even though it's probably really itchy and hard to see through. (This picture is giant but ALL THE BETTER TO SEE ITS AWESOMENESS WITH and also I don't feel like resizing it so deal.)

I love cooking after smoking. I mean, I love cooking at any time, but I really enjoy it after a bowl. That was the best part about visiting my hippy in-laws.

I've only been high a handful of times in my life, but I discovered chocolate peanut butter Chex Mix during one of those times and now it's my favorite PMS snack!

Sometimes I will prepare a meal first, and then eat it while smoking. Or I will just eat before getting high because then the munchies don't really set in as much. Or! And this is kinda weird of me, I ignore the feeling of being hungry while stoned because I know that it's not real hunger. Drinking ice coffee or tea…