And all the hermaphrodites in the animal kingdom would really make them scratch their hollow little heads..... How DO we re-define marriage for snails, anyway? When both partners penetrate each other with a wee harpoon & then exchange sperm, how do you convey that on a wedding cake?

If you think he was disappointed with that, you should have seen how he felt when I tried to sell his actual baby to a couple in the park.

It really is, I’ve never heard a man referred to as being damaged goods. Kinda like how you generally need to be a man in order to be a ‘troubled genius’.

Also both these guys sounds like the could be Dennis on “It’s Always Sunny”

She also disapproves of young Mohammed's penmanship, as well.

Oh, honey nothing. Funny how you’re concerned with “Israel’s warcrimes” but not with the incredible atrocities being committed by it’s neighbors, including the Palestinians.

Pretty sure some of the things I said and thought 5 years ago, have very little to do with what I say now. I think we should definitely question our candidates. Finding things to be indignant about, is different.

I'm just curious. Who will you be voting for?

Bernie’s lack of caring about how he looks is partially why he is a winner, though.

Greatest tweet of all time.

I’m a rebellious sort, so I often go to PP with my kid. When the protestors say stuff, I say “you’re criticizing this child’s mother in front of him. For Shame!” and also “I’m here for routine medical care, which is 97% of what PP does, so go sit in your lawn chair.”

That’s not weird. Weird is wanting to see the matrix redone with cats.

I’m somewhat short (5’3), so I find that when I’m out at bars I attract more short dudes than the average woman. Most nights out, I’m not interested in working the singles scene, so I’ll say something like “I’m just hanging out with my friends tonight, but I appreciate the offer!” if someone asks if I want a drink.…

—Besides, short guys have every right to be furious that they’re not being selected because of their height—

“Short guys have every right to be furious that they’re not being selected.”

Before I met my husband I totally discounted shorter men and would only date men over 6 feet. I too liked feeling smaller. I thought I just wasn’t attracted to short men. Then out of the blue I met my now partner who is only 5’5” (I’m 5’4”) and all my arbitrary ideas of attraction went out the window! I think it helps…

He has to be noticeably taller than me. Like I’m 5’5” and I dated a guy who was 5'9' and when I reflect he seems short. So like 9'3" or something. 14'5" or 7'8"

It reminds me of the whole taking your husband’s name when you get married thing. As every Jezebel article on the subject illustrates, many if not most female readers either took their husband’s name or plan to, which is perfectly understandable. But way, way too many of them angrily insist that they did so completely…