Even, even, even more if it does turn out to be a hoax. ‘Those uppity womenfolks always lying about being raped’ is pretty much a battlecry for a lot of them

Wait, women don’t have orgasms because our sex education is shitty? I’ll remember to tell my GF that next time SHE fails to reach orgasm.

Because we get home at curfew and catch the last episode of Cowboy Bebop.....

Senpai finally noticed them

because Senpai finally noticed them.

Because that’s when senpai finally notices them.

Make armor class great again!

The offscreen wail that followed that joke killed me.

That’s not a celebration, that’s a suicide attempt.

Well, I hear ADHD is almost nonexistent at Hitler Schools.

They might have taken off their seatbelts to you know. Try and escape the car?

Why are we surprised that cyclepaths are killing people? That’s what they do. Haven’t you watched any of those Hannibal shows?

The good news is that the bridge goes over the ocean, so once they fix it, it’s unlikely that the skin will be eaten off your face by Rio’s friendly salt-water pathogens while you’re enjoying a languid bike ride over to the rowing and triathlon locations, where that will definitely happen.

Two Brazilian cyclists died? That’s horrible. How many is a Brazilian anyway?

Down goes another individual for thinking something the hive doesn’t like! We did it, Internet!

Gizmag covered this story in August of 2015, presumably working off the same press release:

Pretty sure I’m not the only one at FA, not even close, who found FA completely independently of Jalopnik. Yeah, I read Deadspin and that was it, until I found FA.

Classy. Tyler has done a great job here. His proofreading and spelling will be greatly missed.