Oh my God, how could I forget that by the time I read Of Mice and Men as a jr. high reading assignment, I’d already seen who knows how many Looney Toons characters who say, “I will love him and pet him and squeeze him and call him George!”

Wrong.

Now pick up the ball and throw it to Naturally.

I do this with my son all the time, and will often show him youtube clips of what I’m talking about. The “Who’s on First” sketch is a great example, so many variations of it have been done in at this point, but the original still holds up (until people totally forget about baseball.)

Neither could I, between the chugging and burping, I would be over five minutes without taking a step

If they don’t follow the rules then the integrity of this sport means nothing.

On the other hand, they’re drinking Budweiser, according to the picture.  So waste away.  

Do they stop the clock for the drinking? I don’t think I could chug four beers in 4:33.

I’m as in awe of a nearly four minute mile punctuated with four beers as I am disappointed that you can leave a third of your beer undrunk.  Waste not, want not, guys.

You can practically hear the clacking of keys creating threads linking Pearl Jam to the insidious child pornography ring of the Democratic party. The party so malevolent and powerful that it controls not one, not two, but zero branches of government.

Kotaku: “Check out the Cool New Features on this Impending Live Action Post-Apocalyptic Shooter”

So provided I understand this right, they’ve managed to combine timers and lootboxes?

A woman helped catch a man who hurt women.

She didn’t write a book about the currently accused. She named no one.

Arrested based on a DNA match. You left that little nugget out, Mr Bad Hot Take.

See, it’s because he’s confused. He thinks they will be forming the jury pool from people who post on the AV Club.

[crickets]

I’m a little surprised by how emotional my response to this has been. I’ve legitimately teared up in the last few days thinking about the intricacies of all this. I cannot imagine how Oswalt is feeling right now. What a bittersweet, complicated, amazing turn of events.

Disproportionately bosomy? Like, one’s much bigger than the other?

Looks like somebody’s got a dream.