Ugh that's like Anne Coulter saying Joseph McCarthy was an unsung hero, which if you know your history about the man himself is laughable.

#ThatAwkwardMoment when a 52 year-old TV host has better flow than some younger modern rappers.

Asking politely?

Could you imagine the B52's and Gorillaz collabing?

You never go full Fallon!

To me, what I remember most about Crouching Tiger is not so much the action, but the tragedy and melancholy of the proceedings. It's a film about betrayal and unfulfilled promise. To marry that with action (however graceful) truly did feel like a turning point in American cinema.

Actually expanding on my idea: end of the third movie has Austin and Dr. Evil reconcile, so they'd have no quarrel. What WOULD be funny is Austin taking on a genuinely violent and threatening villain who doesn't have any of Dr. Evil's comedic narrative conceit. Dr. Evil is all about elaborate plans and long…

Let's get this out of the way: Goldmember is easily the weakest of the three. But Michael Caine is so awesome and quotable he almost saves it.

The Love Guru is so not funny you can use math to break down how not funny it is. Example:

I like the aging Austin the best. The general outline could be similar to View To A Kill, and by extension all the Roger Moore James Bond movies. You have the obvious stunt double, the bad chroma key, and for dark humor a super violent villain in the Christopher Walken mold that actually shakes Austin to the core. And…

I think that was the first film where I thought "Huh, Rob Lowe is actually really funny." Happy to see he ran more with that than pretty boy leading roles in recent years.

There's only two problems I have with Austin Powers:

DEFENSE: Your honor, I submit Monsters vs. Aliens as Exhibit A.
JUDGE: Not guilty. Case dismissed.

Zero is perfectly respectable, but true meddle of not giving fucks is hitting a negative amount.

I'd go more Mussolini: on the run with his mistress, shot unceremoniously, and his hanging body is displayed for dissenters to spit on.

Real talk, check out Dunkleman's Twitter. The amount of fucks that guy gives post fame is kind of impressive.

If he wrote Hamilton, he'd be taking Thomas Jefferson's side.

Lawrence OLIVERyay

I'm sorry I don't have anything witty except THIS EXISTS.

Or "Collateral", which I brought up in a recent AV Club article. He actually learned proper weapons and stealth training, on top of giving a sinister, nihilistic performance. It's the one movie that makes me so sad he's THAT insane in real life.