Breaking up a Raiders fan fight is the one time I’m ok with the police using excessive force.

I thought it was an Ipecyrrhic victory.

What if... and just hear me out.

Jolie, I tried to get vomit and blood out of my Chris Conte jersey with a ShopVac and now my ShopVac is clogged. How do I clean up the hell that is my life?

*jazz hands* Raiders!

I, too, like reading the short articles before commenting.

Whenever I see something like that, I imagine a writer or editor being snide and hip, but I never discount the significant probability of a Millennial who doesn’t know any better, who doesn’t realize ‘baby mama’ is lingo and inappropriate in this context.

I wish I wasn’t from Minneapolis after your comment. For God’s sake, give it a fucking rest with seeking to make everything about race.

This comment is idiotic. But you could call a ham sandwich a racist on Deadspin and 50 guilty white people would give you a star.

Let’s create racism where there is none! YAYYYYY!!!!

Oh. Thank God the race-card guy showed up. Wouldn’t be Deadspin without you!

Why not just give McCarron a shot? What’s the worst that happens, they lose again?

Psh does this look like a man with a weak arm?

In a separate interview, Joe Mixon told reporters that he feels the team will be more successful if they let him just “punch it in”.

He beat his son about the genitals with a stick. Am I doing this wrong?

It’s really weird seeing Adrian Peterson in a Saints’ uniform. Because he should be in a prison jumpsuit. Fucking asshole.

Fact: There are literally tens of millions of professional soccer teams on the planet

In retaliation I hope Christian Hackenberg is in charge of delivering all of the relief supplies.

Patriots fans: The only ones in any sport who can win a championship and spend the next 8 months whining about it.