The Dade County Prosecutor's Office has recommended 2 years' probation for Mark Becker, along with an anger management course.

That has to be one of the more effeminate sentence combinations I've ever written.

a/s/l?

My Stanley Cup is named Marla.

How To Catch Pop-Ups Like A T. Rex And Still Have No Shame

@MarkKelsosMigraine: And jews. Don't forget their hatred of jews.

Yeah so, I just got back from my first Female Flat Track Roller Derby match and...I think I'm in love. How has no one told me about this before. A bunch of suicide girls fighting to knock each other down, and then they go drinking at the after party. You bastards knew about this and didn't tell me, right?

Actually, it's gotten so that I can only watch those high level games at home. Just can't do it and enjoy it like I want to with a lot of others around. In my underwear.

@Pornstars-for-Wilbon: It was Tell Me You Love Me.

@Hit Bull Win Steak: Brutal.

Is Orlando the most incompetent Finals team ever? Does Lamar Odom also fall for 'got your nose!', nigerian email scams, and door to door magazine salesmen? Is online poker rigged? Does DUAN have a future????????

Nice D, Tony.

Forget that sucking chest wound, we need to cure those sniffles STAT!

@bondjunkie: @bondjunkie: call 'it', dipshit

I believe they call the Roma Steamer over there.

@ringitupwiththedongtea: I'm no accountant, but it's my understanding that if you rent out for less than a 14 day period, proceeds are tax free. Please check with someone who knows what the fuck he's talking about before you take my advice, though.

I was late to the Pearl Jam party, but I'll be breaking the concert cherry at ACL in September (I believe).

@Len Bias Cocaine Surplus: And don't forget Lawrence Taylor blocking every kick you try MOTHERFUCKERWHYDOIALWAYSLOSE7-6TOTHEFUCKINGGIANTSFUCCCKKKKKK...

First step is telling the little chinese dude to stop throwing firecrackers in the house.

@ClintonPortishead: A cold, cruel +inertia.