In totally unrelated news, Doyle Alexander is targeting a post All Star Break comeback for the Detroit Tigers.

Threadjack

Barack the Magic Negro was how he was listed on the ballot here in Texas. Is he not magic?

Just point me to the Song of The South guided tour and I'll be good.

It was my understanding that Chris Partlow and Snoop killed Cancer in season 5, episode 3.

For example, I almost turned "sucks" into "stinks" for that last sentence, because ... well, I don't trust you gays.

She looks like she's being held hostage. Tight grip, bro.

@Candace Parker Secret Lover: (head nod)

I'm shocked Nash allowed 52 on him.

@Doyle McPoyle: 'Off the Board'

Someone's trying to crash the SHOTY '08 Party...

Needs more fumbles.

Thank you for my new favorite Deadspin feature. 'Anything with Kige' is now relegated to second place.

They know some of the same actresses in the industry.

@FEAST: Pandemic!

SUCCESSION PLAN, motherfucker.

Rich Rodriguez to Michigan Cowboys: "Get a rope."

@Mean_Old_Frisco: Why was my immediate thought after reading that of Silence of the Lambs, and not football?

@HebrewHammer: No, it's cool. You were right the first time.

Are the editors taking a nap?