@Saved by Azian Zero: Are you at the desk two rows down from me? Wave your hand, dude.

@UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen: Puddy feels it's an Arby's night.

Isn't that where they're filming Funny Games 2.

Please direct all questions to my co-campaign managers, Jim Miller and Mill Coleman.

Actually, it's Rahm Emanuel who doesn't roll on Saturdays. Barack is totally cool with it.

@Jews For Purple Jesus: I had no idea Coach Zook had a son.

You're a faggot dooshbag nerd with no life whose parents probably molested you.

A guy once, in an amazingly chivalrous gesture, carried me half a mile home because he wouldn't let me walk barefoot after I refused to put my shoes back on.

After reading that article, I've come to the conclusion there is a SERIOUS case of bitch mentality going on in Minnesota right now. I understand not being safe, but are you serious? "Self-defense is allowed"?!?

In a somewhat related note...the color copier truly is man's greatest invention.

Will bowling pins be supplied, or do you have to bring your own?

Use the towel to cover the mouth of the can. Next, pull the tab ever so gently, so the air inside the can seeps out without a lot of noise. Keep pulling gently so that the mouth doesn't pop open, so much as pry open.

@Return of DaOtter: He thought he was in Vidor.

That picture is actually Christopher Nolan's interpretation of Grimace.

@Steve_U: Let me know when you see the singularity.

Large Black Men With Guns, Gang Signs

Caitlin has sworn vengeance against Deadspin - as did her equally unhappy boyfriend, who is currently deployed in the military - so we'll see if this story takes an even stranger turn that it already has in the coming months. Hope not.

@Katni: Code Red.

He's 38 and has children, but he won't say how many or provide any more details about his personal life, partly for security reasons but also because this reporter is a "cracker."

@The Muggsy Bogues Redux Experiment: Funny, I have those same dreams...but she's not in the White House, and the spiked shoulder pads and face paint are the only things she's wearing.