Many folks find the secret you’ve almost discovered, that cheap vodka filtered is even better to drive on than expensive vodka unfiltered. It goes right outta that Brita bottle and right into the flask. Driving pleasure, nothing like it, and sooooo cost-effective!

The widdle tail!

I have one baby that I wanted.

whiskers! I can see whisker buds! squee!

She did it for attention. Look at her tweets after the fact.

If it's real, legitimate impotence the male body has a way of preventing it on its own. Anything else and they must have allowed it or enjoyed it, so no need to provide medication.

That must be the most infuriated she’s been in all her 4 years as a Seahawks fan.

2070 unread emails is so much worse to me than the gastrointestinal issues that may be caused by “Chipotle’s”

Wow. A DATED reference.

The idea that Washington picked up his option because of incompetence is absurd. These are the Redskins. It was clearly done out of spite.

Prayer, when you won’t help, but don’t want to look bad.

Let’s assume for a moment you are who you say you are.
Let’s also assume your allegation against the ref is true.
The reaction of your teammates was still wholly incorrect and illegal. There are many, many ways that you and your team could have and should have reacted. Did you tell your coach? Did you tell your…

If the ref didn’t want to be hit like that then he shouldn’t have been standing where he was and wearing the clothes that he had on. He brought this on himself. He knew damn well what would happen the second he left his house dressed like that and I don’t feel sorry for him one bit.

If Kanye’s job now is to just troll the shit out of Taylor Swift at every available opportunity then I am completely on-board.

Take them to school, dipshit.

His rationale for such a decision is two-fold Huckabee explained, it protects both fetus and mother: “There are two victims. One is the child; the other is that birth mother who often will go through extraordinary guilt years later when she begins to think through what happened — with the baby, with her.

In the future, Trooper Encinia should conduct himself at all times in a manner that will reflect well upon himself, the department, and the State of Texas.

I assume this is a snarky reference to all the assholes who said Michael Brown was “no angel” because he probably smoked pot and engaged in some petty crime as if making bad choices justifies his murder. Just in case people think this comment is asinine.

For the record, my shit smells AWFUL. Like maybe I should see a doctor. And I’m sorry I offended your pals at Fox and Friends. I hope they’ll be okay.