I will fight you if you badmouth Lindsey Stirling. Her music is awesome.

+ 3 degrees of burn

AND HE GOES FOR THE THROAT!

If this works I may think about taking Deadspin to court for the absence of the 2015 HOF. I really took a bath on those “Piggy Poop Balls 2015" t-shirts.

Hoisted by your own pedantard

He said “so every other play didn’t end with a shredded ligament.” Why don't YOU try some reading comprehension?

“Disfiguring” is the right word.

MOE, you’re arguing a valid point with a bunch of kids that grew up with overly supportive parents. Pick up a brick and try again. Your results will probably be better.

“Also, per school policy, the dog has been expelled”

I’ll have what Shawn’s having.

They just found a meth lab in a sewer under a Walmart in what’s considered one of our nicer neighborhoods last week.

Well, they had one, but it was years ago....

Shit, my last job we got raided by the FTC my first week. I got a fucking taser gun pointed at me because I was sending faxes to clients. “step away from the fax machine sir”

I always knew I liked you. We should possibly hang out some time. But I’ve got this thing this weekend.

I’ve taken this advice my whole life. Eventually, one of two things happen:

texting

I don’t have to go.

He was a fantastic D-line coach who was thrown in over his head in the worst situation. I feel bad that he was set up to fail but he also made like $10million, so he’ll survive. I still hope he catches on somewhere else as a position coach, he was very good at it.

I felt like Deadspin was pro Tomsula last season. It definitely started as mocking but he was so sincere, there became legit affection for Tomsula.

I know this is sacriligious here, but I rooted for Jim Tomsula because he worked his ass off and took shit for years only to be put in the worst possible position. He’s the anti-Lane Kiffin and I respect all of those shitty odd jobs he had to work.