Dude, if that struck you as serious the Pokemon are going to catch you.

HOLY SHIT, PETER THIEL’S LAWYER IS GONNA BE FUCKING BUSY!!!

So my house is actually a gym. This probably happened because I live in a co-op that is housed in an old mansion that’s nearly a century old; so it’s both a landmark in my city and able to comfortably house about 20 people who co-own the place.

Have you even watched the show? Evil Corp isn’t the real name of the corp, it’s what Elliot calls it in his head and by extension what we hear everyone else call it.

I can’t speak to that. But Tebow sure ain’t cut out to be Vice President!

So legal acknowledgements of risk are now meaningless?

They’re still better than the Niners. You know, because of math.

As someone who has lived in St. Louis and attended Penn State, you have this severely backwards

Proof of knowledge cannot melt a statue.

These people are lying virgins.

Yeah social interaction of any sort is definitely NOT the way to meet people. These idiots. Right?

Isn’t this the point of the game? Go to real-life locations, find some pokemon or trainer, fight them, and the winner gets the loser’s pokemon and wallet? I mean, that’s how I’ve been playing. I nailed an 8 year old in the knee with a tire iron for a sweet Jigglypuff and some pogs.

I tried to chart mine. But my 2B was a girl I got a hand job from in the back alley of a dive bar, and my LF was a girl I once dry humped in the 9th grade.

Me: Yay!

Jesus fuck, Tim.

Alternate headline: “Asshole Dies For Doing Asshole Things.”

Hortelano’s name shouldn’t be too unfamiliar to U.S. audiences; he competed at Cornell where he was All-Ivy Academic as a biological engineering major.

“Hortelano’s name shouldn’t be too unfamiliar to U.S. audiences; he competed at Cornell.”

So familiar with this guy from my days scouting all-ivy academic sprinters