“Ponder this...what great marriages have is sexual variety! Period! It’s not the equal burden-sharing at home trend, it’s not the fidelity trend. Find someone that is going to let me have unprotected, random sex! Period! #monogamysucks!”

“My fiancée has informed me that sheez letting me go. #thankstwitter!”

My god this is a terrible take. 

Yeah, Alisson looks gutted to have Klopp out there.

That’s a poor translation.

Peterson’s throwing a lot of heat at the org, but at least it’s a dry heat.

I think with an iron man like JARVIS on their team, the Browns can avenge last season by winning infinity more games. But not if he starts a civil war during the preseason. Even 3 wins would be a marvel.

I know we all love to rip Winston, but I applaud his comments here, and I hope he continues to learn and grow with each mistake. It’d be awesome to watch a 9ft professor play QB.

See? This is why the Bills don’t bother winning the Super Bowl. Less jewelry to hand out. Less drama.

Blaise Matuidi is leadfooted?

“Speak to a professional. Because I’m worried about you and I don’t know how else to help.”

My second thought is, Kirk Cousins probably hit a deer with his car.

I notice you didn’t mention the Lakers-Kings-level rig job the officials pulled tonight. The Rockets should have shot better but the officials were so obviously in the tank for Golden State it was laughable.

I’m guessing you’re a good liberal, when in doubt? Cry racism and sexism.. you think trumps racist, you have white guilt, we get it..google imaged you.. no wonder you’re jealous of the women at bstool..yikes

Why? Because (A) Lebron is the GOAT, (B) his struggle to achieve success in life despite being surrounded by helpless nimrods is depressingly analogous to the life that each of us live each day and (C) watching Boston sports teams lose is perhaps the greatest joy imaginable.

That top image makes it look like he’s forcing Jeff Bezos to smell his belly button.

I’m pretty sure they make more than $130K.