Thank goodness he's ok - it would have been really ugly if he dyed.

Name ten? Okay. From now on ten is to be called Steve.

Cards fan, right?

Man named Dick Fiddler: I demand you respect where I came from.

Let’s all hope this is the beginning of a long and bitter rivalry between the city of Montreal and the entire state of Kansas.

more like Leonidas of ‘Roids.

I preemptively feel bad for whoever his cutoff man will be.

Zachary D. Manprin: Cardinal Fan or Schiano Man?

This is bewildering. Stat-head nerd-types will tell you that if you get a man on 3rd with nobody out, he has about an 87-88% chance of scoring. Real old school baseball dudes like me and the Goose will tell you that going from first to third, and doing it in the ugliest fucking way possible, is True Fucking Grit and…

Now seems like a good time to remind everyone that if you aren’t a boxer, shadowboxing makes you look like a tool.

I’ve been that high before.

Well, that about wraps up the case, then! Good work, detective!

You can always tell when swimmers beef. Just look for the bubbles.

Could they have sent him to a less ironically named prison?

I like that he's pro study abroad.

extrememely for sure my bud

I guess when you really think about it, we all threw that pitch. Sigh.

When I ask the brothers what they would collect if they were as wealthy as the Cowboys’ owner, they respond at the same time and without skipping a beat: “People.”

“I bought a seven dollar pen because I’m always losing pens and I’m sick of not caring.” - Mitch Hedberg

Damn it people. Romo is the Volvo here! Keep up with my shitty car analogies.