I apologise for nurses everywhere. we are not all as dumb as a box of rocks

“Girls who have been raped are normally fucking crazy; you actually seem really normal and pretty stable.”

That reminds me of middle school, when people were like “you only have big boobs if you can hold a pencil under them!!!!” I got my boobs early, so I was like “shit bitch give me that pencil CASE and watch this!!”

The other day I noticed a bunch of Oreo crumbs had accumulated in my collarbones while I was eating in bed laying down. Sexy y/n?

And he’s called “Kit”, a small fox.

You Grow Nothing, Jon Snow.

That’s not how she tells it.

I am 5’5.5. Kit’s eyes are flush with mine although he is leaning slightly. I’d say 5’6 and not a half-inch taller. (P.S. He is a genuine and lovely fellow. Also, he smells really good.)

Yeah. I’m really not a big fan of when sites that are ostensibly feminist make fun of dudes for 1) being short, 2) having small dicks, or 3) using sex toys. Pretty hypocritical and just generally unchill.

I want Gwendolyn Christie and Miranda Hart to be on TV together being very tall and hilarious.

Gwendoline Christie is gorgeous. Someone create a worthy vehicle for this woman!

THEY LET HIM WEAR CROCS??

“I dissed a girl (and I liked it)“

“i’m not one of your exes, you psycho” sounds like an amazing song

alternate Katy Perry song titles with more subtlety:

Too true. Once there’s a body on Las Vegas Blvd. - then there’s a beef.

The sad thing is, I think Taylor engages in it because it’s fun and it’s a proven version of the post-break up schtick that has worked for her. Even if it is still a business move, it doesn’t read as desperate because it’s such true-to-form territory and leads to catchy as fuck music.

I’m not taking this feud seriously until actual shots are fired. This isn’t exactly Tupac and Biggie here.

Considering one is on a huge sellout world tour and the other did the super bowl it’s a boring feud.

Shots fired!