I can't even remember the last time I ironed my clothes. Sorry, vag, wrinkled and un-wafted is your fate.

That's TOTALLY what my vagina would do.

Some variation on this, maybe?

I pictured a leaf blower and an angry little dog.

And there is no way this cleanses one's uterus. Even if your vagina were hanging 0pen without the help of a speculum, your cervix would keep the steam or mist or whatever the hell it is out of your uterus. Thankfully.

Most of my cookies don't even make it to the baked stage, because I eat them in their doughy stage.

Warner's bail was set at $2.25 million; if convicted he faces life in prison.

My first thought was, "I don't want to live on this planet anymore." But you know what? Fuck that; I don't want THIS piece of shit to live on this planet anymore. If there is indisputable proof that he did this, he should be killed.

I went wedding dress shopping with my pal and her other bridesmaids recently and one of the girls was a total asshole while we were shopping. She had just gotten married so OF COURSE SHE IS A FUCKING EXPERT ON ALL THINGS BRIDAL despite the fact that the maid of honor and another woman in the party are also married and…

Join us fatties and you can be funny too! We have cookies, obviously.

You are famous on jez and its a start.

You're famous here.

You are famous duh.

also she is super super gorgeous and i wish i had her skin

i assume i will be incredibly famous in a matter of minutes, then.

"She looks beautiful in this photo."

My biochemistry professor explained that if we were to eat entirely ATP (the cell energy package basically for people nonsciency) and could not recycle it, we'd neat to eat in effect 64kg of ATP daily. It's not really relevant but I love this stuff. At least we don't have to deal with that haha.

I wish more people understood this. I had gastric bypass almost a year ago. I've lost over 100lbs. I go to the gym at least 4 days a week. I'm in the best shape of my life and more active than most people I know. But if I don't want to gain it all back, I'll have to say on a near starvation diet for the rest of my…