Going to an Asian Massage in a low-rent strip mall with all the windows blacked out and then complaining that it wasn’t a classy fine linen spa with classically trained masseuses is like eating sushi at a Nebraska truck stop and then complaining that you got a tapeworm.

He laid out Pat Patriot because that Jets fool can’t maul Steely McBeam.

Joe Hart meanwhile continues to dream of the day he would be called for good goaltending.

“Hand of Dog” as it’s known in Argentina

Any else that worked at dept stores in malls back in the day experience customers that crapped in dressing rooms?  We’d try to make the dock guys clean it up they refused.  I’m not sure who cleaned it.

Soccer players are generally getting better at dealing with dogs, but I think I need to reiterate a tried and true tip from a dog lover for people who don’t own dogs. There were some basic mistakes by the players in this video. The dog is scared. If you are seen as a threat, the dog will not come. Don’t jog up to it…

On every device I’ve rooted I’ve come to the conclusion that if an app refuses to work on a rooted device, and there’s somehow not a way around it, that app is not worth using. I’m now finding myself in the same position with using a VPN. If your product or service ceases to function simply because it detects a VPN,…

So, tell us: what was the coolest thing to have at your dorm?

A “beaning” is hitting him in the head (his “bean”).

For all the talk about concussions in the NFL, I’m starting to think that the real victims of CTE are NBA execs. Don’t these guys know Carmelo Anthony is like the Dwight Howard of basketball?

Right? The Earth should have been a disc.

“Barstool Radio, a show enjoyed exclusively by Deloitte interns who wish they were still in college”

Never underestimate the power of horniness.

before we get ahead of ourselves, let’s remember that he has two brothers that aren’t retiring.

you have to be fair

Maybe someone could check his Collar ID.

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

Great Googly Moogly.

“Drake needs to be careful here; coming at Perkins can ruin your life.”