making me feel very aware that there is something sitting on my face that I’m watching

Firearm deaths in storms are not uncommon, though they tend to be suicides.

Oh, I see how it is. This guy can walk up to a kid on the mound and tell him “I love you” but when I do it at my local ball field, the cops are called. SMDH.

I bet you think you’re so fucking clever.

Nobody gives a shit about your bunk-ass oatmeal mush and your faux-foodspin writing voice. If you want savory oatmeal, learn how to cook risotto like a “grown-ass person.”

ah heck, wonder what I owe you? “Generic Junk” was my nickname around the girls’ dorms.

Is there a way that you can replace the author photo with of those cool holographic pics from the 90s? So when when we move the book, we see something like this:

Russell and Ciara’s wedding night...

Skip 27 years into the future

I think the main retweeters will be people who are basically saying “I was right”. When shillary is revealed to be a shape shifting lesbian lizard I’m going to retweet the shit out of that tweet. #bengagagazi

Dock’s updated analysis of the size of boat it is equipped to receive:

When I was a kid, I used to go lift weights at the local YMCA

Here’s a link to Hibs fans attacking Foderingham. He’s on the ground in Red. Please stop being ignorant.

Failed to mention Hibs fans attacking Rangers players

And where did you go to collage? Are little pieces of paper stuck all over your diploma?

I was feeling really bummed today, then i saw this. ahahahahaha thanks!

Is that Moss’s father?

Hittin’ threes on AND off the court

Your moral equivalence of war death to disease transmission is a straw man that is rather astounding. So who do you blame for the Black Plague that wiped out at minimum 30% of Europe and Asia. Or the WW One bird flu that killed in excess of 100 Million. Your playing your anti Western bias which is neither good History…