The way I interpret the rulebook of professional mat grappling a golden switchblade would be considered a foreign object and if a competitor were to use one he or she would be subject to disqualification. Were he or she to simply brandish one and look at their opponent menacingly that person would have until a count…

Am I gullible or jaded to have found the latter momentarily plausible? Not true, then. Bill Clinton's 20-year-old beat rag wasn't a prize on a syndicated game show this week. Things could be worse, people.

Are you saying you wouldn't want to be part of Asa Butterfield's Snapchat circle?

Yeah, but I don't think it's meant to have an actual value of $3,000. It's like contributing to PBS. People do it because they want to, not because they think an Il Divo DVD is worth $100. It's just a "Thank you" note.

I assume there was an older draft where she was Queen by birthright (so Leia could be a "real" Princess, not some phony adopted one!). Then he thought having a hereditary Queen as one of the rulers of what'd been billed as an enlightened age was a problem so he changed it to an elected position. Then he stopped…

And it wasn't a one-off. Keisha Castle-Hughes was the Queen in Episode III and she was 13 or 14 in that. Their representatives in the Galactic Senate are Darth Sidious and Jar Jar. Get your shit together, Naboo.

Hey, c'mon, some princesses get to be Queens Regnant. They'll cut ribbons, get photographed watching the inhabitants of remote islands perform ritual dances, and generate tourist money. All things little girls can aspire to.

Further complicated by the (bizarre) fact that "Queen of Naboo" is an elected title, not a hereditary one. It wasn't the bad luck of the citizens of that planet to be invaded while a 14-year-old was their leader. Nah, they apparently .. voted to put her in charge?

Rare to see a PR move as naked as that one. "Our name does sound ultra-German, and it doesn't help that all of the monarchs in this war on both sides are related and some even look like brothers. Let's reassure one's subjects by changing it. What about .. I don't know, 'Windsor?' Fine, sounds English enough."

Now I think the most wrongheaded thing about this isn't the subject matter. It's that the working title is "Princess of North Sudan" rather than "Princess of Bir Tawil." That's almost like naming your kid "Stephany" instead of "Stephanie."

Don't prejudge. When it turns out there's an opening there to an underground world of fairies and talking animals which the native Africans never discovered only because they're unable to make the best use of their own resources we'll all see how respectful Disney's treatment of the material is.

They may, but if Shireen is sacrificed I expect it to happen without Stannis' knowledge. He'd have to take his share of responsibility but he wouldn't be any more to blame than Dany was when Drogon made a snack out of that kid.

Remember when Benioff and Weiss were talking about what a "terrible" king Stannis would be? Remember when Daenerys was going to crowd surf her way to Westeros to show them what good government's like? Those were times, huh?

They're in chains underground as punishment for, and to keep them from, randomly eating people. Now she's letting them do it but still keeping them locked up. She's indulgent. She's inconsistent. Bad parenting, Daenerys.

"Right to privacy got a GRAND tradition. That's why you no liking it meesa thinks."

I think of them as moments of doubt about how he's using his time (as when the hero's best friend is under mind control and it breaks for a brief second and there's a flicker of recognition).

Next two hours and fifteen minutes of your life: The Phantom Menace or listen to Scalia argue jurisprudence while a camera pans up and down, side to side along a watercolor rendering of his face?

So it's like the pen names they used for the Federalist Papers, except instead of defending the Constitution he's using an Internet message board she'll never read to angrily inform an actress that his sons-in-law aren't going to pay to see Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium.

She has a son named Bear. Bear Blaze Winslet. Bear's father is named Ned Rocknroll. Ned Rocknroll is Richard Branson's nephew and charges rich people to send them into space .. (I know I sound like a sleepy seven-year-old right now but this is all true. Or is it?)

"The child is me. Or my innocence. It's open to interpretation. The fugitive is this industry. I was, for years, deaf to everyone's warnings about how dangerous it is. There was a molestation scene in the first draft which I still regret taking out. My agent said I had to if I ever wanted to sell it. Then they gave…