Pesticide free.

No one is going to mention the dirty rat that infests your local pizza joint?

Add a drop of dish soap and it will foam up just fine...that's what they do for the commercials. 

Off the topic of sandwiches but on the topic of peanut butter.

“The kid with the “scientific” definition of soup copied that from a dictionary or something and probably cheats on their tests.”

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ALL Sonic drinks are cocktails in my world.

Just bring back the Chilito.

“and we only included national—or mostly national—chains in our ranking.”...

The non compete clause was fairly standard in the fast food world, for instance if you were a McDonald's employee you where prohibited to take an a job at another fast food restaurant. This was never enforced though and is a thing of the past. 

Do you keep your poop charts in a log book?

“constipated in the end”

But no Taco Bell for me.

I just throw those in the ocean, dolphins love them. 

Or just use a toaster/egg cooker

I read the whole article just to get to the end and find out the answer is a sandwich. 

A shitty worker does a shitty job, don’t think it’s an “apathetic liberal” thing.