the only thing i care about in football is when the winning team lines up to gently kiss the tip of the president’s penis and receive a championship muffin

I hope somebody is there to remind the burglars of the mess they left when they went away.

Joe Paterno’s son is already denying he knew anything about this.

It makes Ivanka uncomfortable.

So witches float and wizards sink?

It seems like once every 200 years this kind of play happens, such as back in 1976 when North Dakota State lost a game when a ball bounced off a player’s shoe and went into their own basket.

Rest in Pizza-Pizza

The bear just confirmed that the cat is fucking dead.

Twins? Then Amal wasn’t the only thing they did, amirite???

The price would’ve been $1,597,200,000, but Loria was able to cut $2.8 million off of last year’s payroll.

Exactly. IF you want to know what a conservative is guilty of, you simply have to look at what they accuse others of. It’s because they simply cannot fathom that other people may be different than themselves, they assume that everyone is as horrible as they are.

Classic projection again!!

i dont think those are highlights, i think its some sort of hat.

Her opponent later admitted that it was the longest he ever lasted with a girl.

Rob Gronkowski: I like to think I put the “bro” in “abortion”.

The best part is he never joined the basketball team, and the incident happened two years ago.

Here’s a good tweet: