Conspira-ception.

“I think Sabathia is trying to communicate that whatever words caught Garcia’s attention were intended for home plate umpire Phil Cuzzi”

If I was commenting on this article, then I would be commenting on this article

I would like to say that I’ve read this entire exchange and I still have no idea if LisaTurtle is some kind of post-modern troll or is dead-serious about pitch-blocking-induced head trauma.

The asterisk works for Chris Paul too! Not to mention it seems like Jimmy Butler’s whole thing is that he wants to be the #1 option, which is why he passed on the 76ers and went to the Heat, so neither Paul nor Westbrook would be great fits if you want to keep Butler happy. Then again, Jimmy always seems mad, so who…

i stand by it.

That’s a big ass emoji. 

That’s what Ian Bowman said to Stewart Zimmel.

The dude responded “if you were a real man you’d punch me in the face”

The collective meltdown of Big Wet Baby President and his minions of incel MAGA chuds is (arguably) the best thing to come out of USWNT winning the World Cup. 

Hopefully none of them were Europeans, otherwise he'd have an aneurysm

I saw CC approach the mound and I was mortified he was going to take me out.

EDIT: Well, shit, that didn’t work at all. Anyone know how to embed Instagram shit? Do I just paste the URL?

The heat are moving dragic and working with his agent to see if they can land him somewhere he wants to be, because they like him and are trying to do right by him. There was no miscalculation. There is no way philly will kill the deal and not take j rich.

Nowhere in that quote does he stipulate which borough of New York would be having a good offseason, so it’s technically prescient.

You don’t get to go the distance, even though the Cake song seems to suggest otherwise.

It’s a they’re dead joke

“Fuck no I’m not paying you for this. a) That was like 20 years ago and b) I said Big POPPA.”

It read even more preposterously on my phone:

“Finish with a generous squirt”