Trevor Siemian could dress up as a pro quarterback.

“If you want to be your strongest, get some sun on your boys. And by boys, I mean your testicles.”

It’s fine. She was dressed in a way that was inviting this to happen.

I won the entire single player mode in Mutant League Hockey without ever scoring a goal. Just keep killing your opponents until they are short on players and have to forfeit!

So you basically created Action Park?

Bunch of fucking marks at the FBI

This is silly. Everyone knows who actually paid Oswald to do the shooting...

Papyrus NASCAR Racing. I don’t think I ever completed a single lap. I would always do a 180 on the starting line and race backwards to cause the most spectacular crash. Then I would use the replay function to watch the crashes over and over again. Fun times.

Thanks for the money and research boosts, Democracy, but if I want to suddenly and arbitrarily declare war it’s Communism every single time. (Look, Isabella tried to gouge me on a trade for coal and she’s a zealot. It’s tank time.)

we don’t take kindly to YOUR TYPES in here

Joe Buck is really getting good at reading the promos for the new Fox shows.

And a bad strategy:

/pivots to video

“WWE was in a bind going into last night’s Tables, Ladders and Chairs pay-per-view. A contagious viral illness is going through the Raw locker room.”

She lost

“Amateurs.”