People who hated this clown actually voted for him just to be spiteful toward the Head Negro in Charge. Just like fucking Rick Scott, nobody actually liked him, they just hated Obama THAT MUCH.

This fuckin’ guy wants to legalize cock-fighting. He wants my cancer-fighting mother to lose her health coverage. He wants all the pregnant teenagers to stay pregnant. I am the only person from my workplace who voted (Conway). Every one of my co-workers PROUDLY declared that they never, ever vote, as if it’s some sort…

Don’t you know this is all Obummer’s fault?

But... it’s not his fault. He personally doesn’t mind, but he can’t change what ancient scriptures say.

Why does it matter? Cuz #1: There is no official religion of the United States. And #2: Who is the “Muslim” of which he speaks?

Why is she even working outside the home?

Every single funeral I’ve been to except one had a whole body.

One of my cousins was blown to bits in Vietnam. They had an open casket. :( His head was there, but his uniform jacket was stuffed with newspapers because he had no body, and the newspapers had settled. He was also under glass, because of the smell from all the time it took to find all of his remaining pieces and get…

You can totes put that in your will!

Um, it was OBVIOUSLY done to shame the girl. :(

My niece’s husband died in a car crash when he was only 22 years old. Their son was 22 months old at the time :(. During the final receiving line, when everyone touches the deceased and gives their final goodbyes before leaving for the cemetery, I chose to hold my great-nephew so the adults could get their moment. The…

Yeah, Robin Williams, Martin Short, and Lou Diamond Phillips didn’t consider themselves too good for SVU.

Tooth flossing.

After you get used to it, the idiots put on a pretty damn entertaining show.

I’ve been told I should be ashamed, because a young girl like me shouldn’t “allow” herself to walk around looking like that. Fuck that. I love my white skin, and I actually wish it was whiter.

Unless you’re a redhead, then it’s a pint glass full (no joke).

But do you still peel the dried Elmer’s glue off of your palms?

In my state, care professionals who work with the special needs community are not allowed to put sunblock on a client without a doctor’s prescription. They are also not allowed to keep the clients from outdoor activities that their peers might enjoy. Therefore, the clients just have to fry until an actual written…

Oh my god, the Minions movie was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. I laughed until I cried, I’m surprised I wasn’t kicked out of the theatre.

I got $5! I was special!