I use Body Shop, because BBW is synthetic. I think it's kinda crappy, myself. Yes, I know Body Shop is super expensive, I use the frequent flier card and always take advantage of discounts.

17 years old. Tonsillectomy on December 14th. Scabs come off Christmas Eve. You do the math.

Best: any Christmas my broke Daddy was able to scrape together just enough money to get me the big ticket thing I'd asked for, whether it was bikes, Nintendos, VCRs, or whatever.

Yep, there's no question he's a Windsor. Which means, he'll be an adorable baby, a smokin' hot teen, and an ugly adult.

Okay, he SOLD them? So, did they find out because one of the "buyers" realized how gross it was and told on him? Please tell me that's what happened...

WHOOOSH

YOU FORGOT MUSLIM PRAYER RUGS AND FOOT WASHING SINKS!

My sister and niece constantly have to be bombarded by their husband/father's uber-religious family telling them that all they have to do is pray. Then, when things go wrong, they're told it's because they didn't pray hard enough. The shit is making them more and more atheist as each day passes.

Most. Hilarious. Hashtag. EVER.

Imma brag here... One time, dressed as the Cat in the Hat, I jumped into a WHAS morning weather report, flustered the meteorologist, and did the pointing while he did the report! That was a fun weather day!

We're TRYING! We really are! But the old white dudes in the rest of the state are outvoting us!!!

Okay, tell me if I'm seeing the wrong thing, but a disabled guy fling himself out of his wheelchair in order to tackle this clown?

Thank you very much, that is interesting.

I feel like if Ebola could be caught in the restaurant, it would have already happened.

Slighty off-topic, but I picked up a brochure in the doctor's office the other day about Sickle-Cell Anemia and Sickle-Cell Disease. It said that SCD/SCA is actually really common, at least the gene is, but it one of the most under researched and poorly known diseases among the general population. I wondered if it…

Walking a 5K yesterday, my niece and sister kept asking to use my chapstick, so the three of us started calling it the Ebolastick. Until, we realized we were surrounded by thousands of stupid fucking Americans who would stampede in panic if they heard us.

A "dark" shadow. A dark one.

You guys did it right. If trick-or-treating were an Olympic event, my cousin and I would have been Michael Phelps. We filled pillowcases so full, we had to hug them against our bodies to carry them. We were the first ones out, and the last ones in. When we finished one whole neighborhood, we hopped in the car and…

One year all the trick or treaters avoided my parents' house because the meth cooks next door were hanging out on their porch, drunk, cat calling every mother that came by with kids. I was heartbroken.

I KNEW it was black and brown kids, thanks for proving me right.