I like how YOU taking Plan B hurt HER. You shouldn't have sneezed your heathen whore pill residue all over her.

I like WATCHING DD, but not hanging their calendars/wearing their shirts/listening to their music.

Yeah, I don't get obsessing over them and buying their "merchandise", but the show is funny. It's decent for clean, family-friendly entertainment.

You forgot LIBTARDS.

I was a cartoon character at a theme park for two summers, and people beat the hell out of us on a daily basis. Just beat us mercilessly. Put people in the hospital. I never understood this mentality, "I KNOW there is a human being inside that suit, but I still have an overwhelming urge to beat it to death."

Wait, that was actually a thing? Thumpers actually gave a shit about food options? Keyword being OPTIONS?

Why didn't you spell "people?" Please help me understand why everyone says "ppl" all the time.

I can see the wretched parts of online dating, but I do recommend it to people who are looking for alternatives to nightclubs. As long as you can wade through the creepers, then it's genuinely a place to meet relationship-minded people, as opposed to just hook-up-minded people. I met my fiance on OKC, after I was…

Waiters actually DON'T get paid.

30 years old and counting...

Ahhh, and did he remind you of it all the time? And remind you how easily he could get her, and WOULD if you didn't act right? What great memories you and I share.

Seriously! I think that even if he DID steal a debit card or whatever, it isn't the cashier's concern. If it works, it works. As a restaurant server, I know I don't concern myself with that kind of stuff.

Haag? I know a few.

My friend's maiden name was a super-awesome, 16-letter Dutch name that didn't exist on anyone outside of her family. She married a guy named... Smith. :( She was sad about losing her name, and I pouted over her dropping the cool name for the lame one, and she expressed disgust and contempt for all women who don't…

No point in even going into the race/eugenics discussion, but yeah, race/eugenics.

Her last two babies LITERALLY just fell out of her uterus. Fell right on out like gumballs.

No, you fool. Hussein Obummer caused all that. Libtard.

Am I the only person who thinks she looks like Bat Boy?

Awww, I'm sad. I can't wear makeup to work because I wear a white collared shirt, and because I sweat like crazy. And I hardly ever go out on nights off. I wish I had a cool reason to do this to my face.

Does Kanye West have any kind of a personality whatsoever? Does Kim? Do the two of them have enough combined fortune to purchase a couple of personalities?