This crap-ola weather is why we have Waverly Hills now.

I've actually been spared from all allergies because I'm a freak of nature. When my mother was a child, her parents were told to either move to the desert, or she was confined to an oxygen tent.

Sorry, dude. Planning is moot when low blood sugar hits you without warning. Have a little more understanding.

Yeah, because there are absolutely no chronic health conditions that require people to eat at the first signs of insulin imbalance. Stop being so inconsiderate, you hypoglycemics and your rude friends.

Louisville is the worst place for allergies for the same reason it was the worst place for the TB epidemic from back in the day: once stuff gets it, it can't get out. It's like living in a bathtub inside a trash bag.

Baser desires? YEAH! Fuck holding them to a higher standard, they were just giving in to baser desires!

My niece got it for the first time, and I immediately arrived with many different size, shape, and absorbency pads AND tampons for her to choose whatever she liked, special bar soap, and two types of painkillers. I also inserted her first tampon for her and gave a tutorial.

I didn't use them until I was 25 years old. And my mother had to buy all my products for me until I moved out at 18.

Could someone PLEASE explain to me the phenomenon of purposely sloppy hair? Like, putting in actual time and effort to make one's hair a mess.

I always let my hair stay exactly that length until it "tells" me it's time for a cut. This is when I have to take my own scissors and cut the giant dreadlock out of the back of my head. Then, the hair goes ear-length, grow and repeat. I cut it once every two years.

Why does everyone tell us curlies to straighten? I wouldn't even know how to do it if I wanted to.

Sigh. I respect any Black woman's decision to do as she pleases with her hair, but I think that there is NOTHING on this planet more amazing than NATURAL Black hair. Every time I see a Black or mixed-Black woman with natural hair, I freak out. I love it.

The important difference is that a more skilled stylist is able to charge a higher price, thus making the more expensive cut the better one.

Oh yes! Since I only cut my CURLY CURLY CURLS once every two years, I splurge and go to the pricier, fancier salon. Of course, $50 is a splurge for me, but whatevs.

Once at an outdoor concert, some guy was talking to my mother while I was several yards away. He did not know that I was her daughter, and he pointed at me and said "That is so horrible! Why would a young lady let herself be so pale, how ugly!" Yep, she cursed him out soundly.

DUDE!!! I always thought I was the only one who thought Vanity was gay.

When I worked in a day care center, we had a whole bunch of blonde dolls and one black doll. All of the children in the center (all Caucasian and one Indian) wanted to only play with the black doll. They named her Brown Baby and would fight over her. My belief was that they did not understand race, and instead…

The Shamwow guy has always given me the creeps.

Who on earth would be ashamed of that?

I'm afraid of Roombas.