Mine sounds like Skeletor.

My son pissed in the corner of his room today. He was happy that he didn’t do it in his “big boy” pants. He gets to claim victory but I’m still cleaning up piss.

“Trump brand Kool Aid.......it’s irreversible”.

I am anxiously awaiting* the trickle-down of this outlandish whitewashing PR nonsense to Trump’s indefatigable meme-posting supporters. They’ll buy it, right? Even though that would be INSANE, right?

Why is it always dudes who come into threads and say “blah blah blah genders reversed blah blah blah everyone would have a fit.” Why don’t you ever ever ever just talk about what actually happened, instead of positing a situation that did not happen? WHY. Oh right, I know why.

Police officers have Narcan available to them in my town.

Because they’re sister-fucking rubes.

Then you go read the groups in the KKK and it sounds like you are reading a Dungeons and Dragons manual.

Everyone knows koalas are only capable of operating toasters and some hand held mixers. They just aren’t a very tech friendly species.

You are forgetting that Gordon Murray put fans in the diffuser of the McLaren F1 road car. They were removed on the LeMans race cars because they were illegal.

If all the fan cars also had little filter bags the track would be nice and clean after each race!

Fuck you, Mike Pence. You Hank Hill’s father looking ass. You god damn funeral insurance actor looking ass. You fucking hateful lego figure looking ass. Go to hell, you fucking parasitic worm wearing a white wig coming out of Donald Trumps asshole. I hope you fucking rot.

Pence is responsible for lots of deplorable legislation — yet, somehow he just can’t take ownership of it. The guy is genuinely an alt-right religious darling and he scares the shit out of me.

My cat can open any door by standing on two legs and jiggling the handle. It is frightening and impressive.

Yup.

I live in Ontario. A few hours north of Toronto, en route to the cottage, I spotted a small confederate flag in a person’s parked car’s window.

Mr. Saucy and I were on a fantastic, last-minute vacation in Iceland in January, sitting in a cozy hotel lobby with the remainder of a bottle of wine, when one of us called Iceland “a landscape of arpeggios.” One of us has not been able to live it down since.

I praised a guys soul patch by saying that “ If I was a man I too would adorn my self thusly”....and then married him so when ever I get a bot snotty he brings that up and I just sit on my hands in utter shame