I find "accomplishment glow" to be a myth as widespread as the female orgasm.

I picked up Castlevania: Lots of Grumpuses. I've had some weird, inarticulate desire to get that game for a while now, and I'm uncertain why. You know how it is when you just decide you must have a game, even when there's nothing particular about it you explicitly respond to? Minor compulsion, I guess.
Anyway, that'll…

As a kid, I was never able to make it past the first battery of moving platforms on the Gutsman stage. I think it may have literally made me weep in frustration. I thought I'd try again as an adult, assuming that I'd have gained some intrinsic skill or knowledge that I was lacking as a child and the whole thing would…

That is, of course, if black sheep are known for their lousy magic systems and unlikable cast of characters.

Oh, man. Reading this reinforces the feeling of defeated weariness I have when someone shows me their Magic deck or explains to me the system. Not due to any fundamental problem with the game, but it being so antithetical to what I enjoy in gaming.
If I'm going to participate in a system with such an elaborate and…

"I look forward to this album appearing on 90% of the A.V. Club's year end lists, with all the writers carefully acknowledging how off-base this review is.

Man, I've really dug into and spent some time with Neko Case's latest this last month, and it is creeping toward being my favorite of her albums.
While I liked it at first, it didn't have the same mythological weirdness as Fox Confessor or the squint-eyed brutality of Cyclone, so I didn't get as hooked right away.
But…

Oh, man. I forgot all about Sweaty Sausages: The Thrustening. I'm all for any movie that played at normal speed is only twelve minutes long.

*But Fluka didn't say"fudge". She said it, The Word. The granddaddy of all swears!*

You're in touch with your feminine side.

Is Teti folding his penchant for unique illustration for articles into the A.V. Club? That would be so very rad.
One unique illustration is worth a thousand Me Gusta memes or stock photos of Asian businesswomen looking exasperated at their laptops.

I'm disappointed you don't type out the same broken English you speak in.

Yeah, well that hour is the difference between me being a piercing wit, brimming with sage and pithy observations and a derelict with an empty bottle of Old Granddad knocking against his unconscious head.

"It is a far better thing to be thought of as the beloved issue of history's great wit than a surly internet contrarian bereft of insight or merit."

That's a good question. I can't think of any specific examples. The closest is the Metroid/ Zelda school of power-up tutorials that put you in a dungeon or a room that can't be escaped without the use of the ability you gain inside.
So it provides a closed environment that alludes to what needs to happen, and gets…

You must be Dorian Gray, because I remember your "I don't even own a television" argument from twenty years ago, and you haven't aged a day.

I think another, fundamental facet of gaming that's overlooked by this trend of over-tutorialization is you will likely be introduced to games by someone who has an interest in helping you learn. The 'Hey, I want to show you something awesome!' school of learning is a reliable one. And as you say, if one is interested…

I hope they kiss and when they pull apart, Watson's mustache ends up on Sherlock's face.

"How did you deduce this?"

Unicef sends a pair of prostitutes into his hotel room, and he sits with an aimed crossbow, making them aggressively write grants and cold-call potential donors.