Same here. Except the proud part. Also, it was about Puck from Alpha Flight, which doubles the embarrassed part.

And I thought you were a master baiter.

No, it throws up some piece of fluff news that it thinks you may want to be dismissive of.
It assumes you're already watching porn.

Kinect watches silently as you vomit blood. Again and again, quarts of your life's blood spilling out in a hot torrent.

Scrawler can get in line. I'm straight as a ruler and I'm so very down with Tom Hardy in revealing post-apocalypse leather gear.
I even wrote some Max / Briuce Spence slash fic.

Truly. With most contemporary genre illustration I'm evenly split between envy at many artist's level of technical mastery and saddened by what they choose to express with it.

And that's why you and I will never be married.

I'm not citing a preference for one era of Magic art over another. I've seen some fantastic stuff and some dull, flaccid stuff from every run of the game. As a rule, I agree with you that there tends to be more experimentation and variety in any game's early days before it becomes an established property. Your example…

Above all, I'm incensed over the shitty illustration.

I've been hula hooping since the proclamation of the Eisenhower Doctrine in 1957!

Naw, I like Skyward Sword a lot. It's true when the controls are an issue, they are a hair-pulling, game-breaking issue, but I found those times to be limited to a few specific spots.
Otherwise, I think the controls were implemented fairly well.
And I love the art direction and think the level/world/dungeon layout…

Yeah, I really wanted to like both Phantom Hourglass and Spirit Tracks, but they both ended up being really big packages with very light contents. Just a blast of Zelda-scented air upon opening with a few broken Zelda crumbs at the bottom.
Nintendo confused people's tolerance of endless Windwaker sailing due to the…

I've been eyeing that 3DS XL bundle with the Triforce design with a surprising drooly fervor.
I have a Vita and an iPad, and unless I'm planning on getting a Chewbacca-style bandolier, except one made for assholes instead of Wookies, to haul all that nonsense around, I'm being foolish even indulging in the thought of…

Not paid. It's more of honorable servitude. Nintendo saved Kaiser's life when he was a child, pulling him safely away, last second, from an exploding Tiger LCD handheld. Now he works tirelessly giving mildly enthusiastic reviews to Nintendo games with a fair acknowledgment of caveats and problems in hopes of possibly…

Your misleading clown's siren song has been broken, fiend!

No, not mediocre by default at all. Mario World and 64 respectively were both fantastic.
But it is a tough position to be in, attempting to demonstrate new, powerful and unfamiliar tech in a sparse field under a lot of avid scrutiny.

Man, I pity launch games. It's the consumer electronics equivalent of being first off the boat during the landing of Normandy. And you've only had the journey over to learn how to use all your equipment.
But it's also not like that, since the stakes are much, much, much lower.
It does justify the trend of having…

Thomas Pynchon, you came out of hermitage for this?

It's main selling point was having home console graphics identical to arcade cabinet graphics.
Being priced out of range to everyone other than precious little Lord Fauntelroy's and Saudi royalty was a secondary, if maybe more frequently discussed quality.

All things in moderation.