I wish people who bray about their “hotness” would realize that just because you personally decide you’re hot, it doesn’t mean you’re hot. The Gold Standard of Hotness, if I may be so bold as to point it out, is the OKCupid A-List Attractiveness Filter “You Have Been Rated: Hot” email, which I received from the…

Also, movie stars look like movie stars more because of big-budget stylists than genetics.

As a girlfriend pointed out - when you are 30 and shopping for tampons in the pharmacy and a guy is staring at you, you conclude that he likely wants to have sex with you. When you are past 40 and some guy is staring at you, you conclude that he is waiting for you to go to the parking lot so he can mug you. And after…

You only think that because you don’t think people are property.

I’m reasonably confident that this guy will let you know one of three things within 5 minutes, probably all if he deems you hot:

1) How much he can lift.

The big secret is that there’s really very little downside to graduating from Hot Club to unwoman club. It just means that dudes leave you the hell alone when you’re trying to go about your business. And as someone who enjoys solo travel, it’s a godsend.

I would assert that due to the nature of their industry, movie stars tend to have schizophrenic, paranoid and hugely self-conscious personalities. That crap gets old no matter what he or she looks like.

Whenever I’ve heard people say it, it’s because they find the idea of being sexually attractive to everyone a type of power trip. As though someone desiring them gives them an inherent power over that person.

Whenever anyone says “I could have anyone I wanted” you know they are delusional and you should very very quickly run very far away.

I don’t understand the point of that statement. Personally, I’m only really interested in people I have a spark with. And odds are, sparks are mutual. So it’s a bit like saying, “I can have sex with anyone I have a connection with!”

Never forget, even Miss Universe was cheated on. If Miss Universe can’t keep her man’s dingus on lock with her universal hotness there’s really no hope for securing a cheat free relationship for the rest of us average Bettys. I mean, unless maybe there’s more to love and life than looks. Who knew!

I know. But when it comes to internet commentary on other people’s faces, I tend not to be as honest as I might be irl.

If I had half the confidence of these delusional fuckwits, I would be queen of all. “Stunning beauty?” No, lady, sorry.

In Hot Club, even the rules don’t get talked about. You either know them, or you’re not in Hot Club.

Donald Trump definitely makes me grateful I’m on the homely side.

Modesty would certainly go a long way with these folks, and truly “hot people” know this, but they’re probably narcissists, so yes...run away, indeed!

I have shot down many a finance bro in my day and have then immediately been told to my face that I’m “not that hot” anyway in response... ha, sure, cool bro

Wrong! Late 30's and 40's is prime hotness. Confidence exudes.

As hard as it is to believe, somebody got tired of banging Christy Brinkley. She has been divorced 4 times.

As Dita Von Teese said “You can be the juiciest peach in the world and there’s still going to be someone who doesn’t fucking like peaches.”