Relevant.

My cat acknowledges my existence by patting my face (claws not entirely retracted) in the wee hours of the morning. Probably checking to see whether I'm dead and ready to be feasted-upon.

Oh, sure.

Make fun now. But this slope really is slippery, and it's not going to stop with animals.

Before you know it, people are going to be marrying buildings, works of art, even rules of grammar.

And I won't be left behind. I just proposed to the Flatiron Building and the rule against run-on sentences. …

Awesome. Those guys with big dogs look like they're being assaulted by an angry pony.

The government must immediately stop issuing huge dogs to soldiers before someone gets seriously hurt! Medium-sized of smaller, people please.

PLEASE SOMEONE ANSWER. I hate racism but love cookware.

Whenever someone tells me to smile, I always want to tell them my mother just died or something equally horrific and then they'll see me smile at the look of embarrassment/shock on their own face.

this is The Comment Of My People

OMG! You have shown The Vogue Of My People!!! Side note, I try to say "The ___ Of My People" as often as I can. I'd be like, "I'm going to go grocery shopping and getting bacon because Pork Is The Meat Of My People."

We think plus sizes could be even bigger than our regular sizes.

I try to live my life by the mantra "SURPRISE! TACOS" - I just didn't know I had to share them.