There actually is something in that article that surprised me. I’m genuinely startled that Johnny Depp, who billed himself as a Capital-A Actor long after he started mostly doing big, dumb, family movies, doesn’t bother to memorize his lines anymore. Wasn’t that one of the signs that Marlon Brando had given up on…

As an immigrant from a country that has been declared to have no free press I can’t stress this enough. The First Amendment IS WHAT MAKES AMERICA GRAEAT. Many of us came here consciously or not seeking the freedom to say wha we really thought. This country is still better than mine when it comes to freedom of speech…

You’re nicer than me. Cuz I’m totally condoning exactly that.

I have heard the don’t shit where you eat before, but I like the don’t stick your pen in company ink just a bit more.

YMMV of course. I happen to have married someone I met at work, I work in tech, he is a developer, I am a technical writer, and we still work in the same department to this day. In an open office. Though I do choose to work from home most days because I really do hate open offices (too noisy).

*quickly buys titzndix.com domain*

I successfully dated at the turn of the century. We typed a profile. We added a picture or two. It was kinda hard to take a selfie. My first camera was 2mb. We emailed, then phoned. We went on a real date. It was good. We are married now

I thought pretending to be married was enough.

The part where Marge is so stressed that she’s started popping pills four years worth of pills in less than 100 days really did make me sad.

But did anyone report the badly disguised alien with leathery orange skin and tiny baby like hands that’s currently hiding in the White House?

I just called the ICE number to fuck with those un-American pissants, and was informed by recorded message that all lines are down.

If I was American, I’d be calling to report that ICE was asking for my documents outside a courthouse.

The 426th day of 2017 would be March 1, 2018: Justin Beiber’s birthday.

Did you see the John Hamm Black Mirror xmas special? He needs to be blured out to the world and move through it unheard and unseen.

I’m not even American and I fucking hate him.

I don’t think that Lochte has the commitment to nastiness that Trump has. Trump is an idiot, but worse than that is how comprehensive and thorough his malice is. There have been times when I see articles about relatively low profile or even obscure issues and I think, “there’s no Trump is fucking around with that. How…

It’s late, I’m tired, and I read that as “Interior Secretary Ryan Lochte” all the way through and yet it made perfect sense that way.

‘Them national monuments are taking our Jerbs’