I find I am constantly asking myself, “so what does this mean?” Anything short of “it gets these motherfuckers out of the White House” depresses me.

Funny how in the US, time and again - whether the core crime is treason, murder, drug smuggling, or genocide - the thing that finally gets them is money laundering?

“You got so close before your horniness undid you” should be engraved on my fucking tombstone. That sentence is the story of my life.

Kevin: Dang, I’d have won if the solution was Two Gentlemen in Veronica.

I may have some more rage about this than I thought.

Starred for “pushy rando”. I have friends I don’t hear from unless they’re short on their arbonne-usborne-sex-toy-christiany handbag goal. No, I do not want your pink ‘for her’ faux leather whip (it’s vegan!) OR your ‘natural product’ lip stain in this ‘season’s’ hottest shade. Can I just write you a check for your…

I used to LOVE going through the Avon catalogue and some of their products will never be surpassed (there was a Tinkerbell lip balm that had exactly the right tint AND strawberry flavour).

*extreme whisper voice* a steak knife will cut bread.

I suspect it’s more to do with needing her on immediate call, because of her father’s fading mental health and increasing sundowning.

Never forget: Ivanka is the bag man for the Trump crime family.

I get what you’re saying, but I would say if your behavior is so boorish that security has to come over to you four times — and ultimately kick you out even though you’re the coach’s wife — then yes, you have to live with people showing your boorishness.

The resemblance is uncanny...

I love the twisted logic on these people. If you’re embarrassed that someone is showing people how you’re acting in public, maybe you should be embarrassed about how you’re acting in public.

* holds up lighter, waves flame around * Woo-hoo!

Breaking: Donald Trump to receive “Extremely Handsome, Great Taste and Not At All A Con Man Award” from group funded by Donald Trump.

I don’t feel like she actually gets away with anything. Like, she hasn’t played some brilliant trick and somehow slipped past the fact-checkers. She simply has no shame about lying. Same with Trump. They’ve just realized that the fact-checkers don’t matter, that there are no political consequences for blatant lying,…

I don’t think she’s brilliant. I think she stooped to the lowest common denominator for the election. She lied and cheated as much as Trump supporters do, or want to do.

Surprise twist: it was 30-year-old Ivanka all along. Probably.

Remember last year when it would have been surprising to learn that one of the president’s aides was a Nazi supporter? Good times, good times.