My dad likes to colled M1 Garands because he is in love with WWII history. I like to get his blood pressure up by saying the only use that gun has now is for Marines to twirl them in commercials. So I guess there's that.

Uh, he saved the fucking world, was a kindergarten teacher, let off some steam Bennet, got to a chopper, had a baby as a man, went to Mars, fought Satan, got a Turboman, and also came back and hasta la vista and SERAH CONNAH.

He can't start a war with China. Who else will give him loans?

They'll have egg on their face when the real rapture happens and it just takes homosexuals, Soylent Green, and a third of the original members of Pearl Jam.

I know I hid it pretty well in my amazing prose, but I was talking about people dreaming about a societal breakdown. (There it is again for you, just in case you missed it again.) You then said they had families to protect. I continued my main line of questioning.

No one can pierce through her Blue Steel

That's some wishful fucking thinking.

And that's why they look forward to an apocalypse? Maybe they shouldn't have made a family if the thing they're looking forward to is protecting them from marauding psychopaths.

I've never understood why there are people that get excited about the idea of living in a societal breakdown. I usually think they're the first ones who will die because they intend on living their hero/amazing warrior fantasies.

I think it's more like a horror movie where he just appears even though she already pushed and impaled him onto one of the golden angel statues who are 10s with big tits.

You can masturbate to whatever thought you want to. I prefer to do it to the thought of Salma Hayek, Shiina Ringo, and a time traveling Sophia Loren are on a road trip and break down in front of my house. Their heat is broken so it's stuck in full blast mode and they're peppered with sweat and looking to cool off. …

You never saw Mrs. Partner. That guy at the convenience store knew he was gay and that there was no pregnant wife waiting for twinkies.

JMP is literally Ivanka Trump who is just really fed up with Donald "accidentally" walking in when she's bathing, sleeping, or hiding from a life that too closely resembles hell.

If we can team you up with the guy from Gymkata we might be okay.

everyday beach party!

Now you know why he hired the guy from Hardee's/Carl Jr.s He wants those bikini chicks eating hamburgers.

Sad!

They already fired Chris Christie.

By far my favorite part was "That's what you get for being a teenager! Take this whack to the head!"

The Walking Dead I'm watching has never had a presidential election take place in the world. It also doesn't have hubcaps or Pringles.