I'm giving you a star, not just for speaking the truth, but for an awesome screen name.

Best post I've read all day. Thanks for the laugh!

I've been living next door to this asshole for this entire year at SU and he's an even bigger douche then you could ever imagine. I'm gonna go ahead now and list several of the wonderful experiences I've had living next door to this moron to give you some perspective. I've had Hayes and his roommates force…

Ya that's it. The last one. Ya he shouldn't have done that.

This comment is great enough on its own, but the grayed out butthurt underneath is the icing on the cake.

"Kendall Rae Talbot was working at one of her four jobs when she noticed some commotion outside her new car on Marshall Street in Syracuse.

tug on superman's cape

Persoanlly I don't think a statement was neccesary. Just tell the cop his name

Cop"Ok, tell me what happened. Why did you hit him?"
Big Jim "His name is Hayes McGinley. He's a lacrosse player for Syracuse"
Cop "You're free to go..."

Honestly, if you (1) went to Syracuse, (2) played lacrosse, (3) looked like a douchy frat asshole, and (4) were named "Hayes McGinley," how could you not totally expect to get the Jesus Fucking Christ beat out of you at least once in your life by a guy named Big Jim Whitcomb.

Here it probably means spike it into the turf or something. In the U.K., do nothing with it for 90 minutes.

Edit: I blew the joke. See below.

(nephew comes to family reunion in neck brace and head bandage) (is met by a suspendered uncle sitting at a desk at the front gate) "Hayes, what is it ya say... ya DO here?"

Part of me really wants to know what "football his face" means. Punt? Kick? Extra Point? So many options really.

I feel like if you get hit by somebody named "Big Jim", you're gonna have a bad time.

No. Just coffee, if I remember correctly. Never tried heroin.

And don't give me too much credit for not bringing him on —I absolutely would have if I thought there was some flicker of a human behind those sad eyes of his.

It was a teachable moment for everyone involved.

So Marriotti can't say it was a hit piece that hurt his business. It promoted it!