Goddamn i love this so much. Our wealthy overlords and masters at the mercy of some shitty screeching birds, and the only recourse is to turn your yard into a mad max future hellscape? Tom, i can only get so hard here.

Mohammeds ice breath can absolutely defeat Jesus’ laser vision.

Neither of those people existed, so, who cares? 

Thoughts and prayers to corrupt douchebags

What does that mean for wal mart and halliburton? They rely heavily on state assistance. I say kick these wards of the state to the curb and let them fend for themselves. 

T...the meta? 

Meanwhile in emulatortown...

Fahck you, kid, which team of yours did we beat in the past 5 years in embarrassing fashion? 

Trendy fitness is trashy anyways, my level of surprise at this entire blowup is none, at best. 

Who the fuck is drew magary?

Depends on what equinox, hoss

Nothing can stop ToolHypeTrain today.

Neat.

Cocaine is super popular right now, legalize that shit, ive got too many chores and errands and never enough time 

I enjoy the lack of subtext in his demand for liburls conform to conservative norms.

Holy sh1t what year did you time travel to in order to get this?

You're in the secret service and find him dead on the crapper mid-tweet. Do you press send anyways? 

Fhckin kiiiid dood

At this point the dude is going to send all the white kids stock images of minority children with access to SNAP along with a name, address and phone number, with only the words "happy hunting" written on it. 

But also fuck the yankees so, who cares.