Sorry, Mom.

Coffee guy was old. Old people are assholes.

"our 10 oz. filet Mignon, cooked "Extra, extra, EXTRA well-done"

I would charge him $30 for being such a dipshit.

My husband and I were negotiating for a car about ten years ago. It took longer than expected and I had to leave for work. After I left, the salesman made an offer, to which my husband said he needed to discuss it with me. The salesman told him to prove he was a man and show me who is boss by making the decision…

Yeah I watched the HuffPo interview, and I didn't really like how they chopped Suey off as she was trying to make a point.

My old university had a rule, no students allowed in the opposite gender's dorm after hours or you will be expelled. So obviously, every night when the moon came out, I became a dorm hopping ninja. That night I was sitting in my smokingly fine boyfriend's room, reading a book on his futon (I know, lame). When suddenly…

For once? Do we disagree often?

I read that as Nick DENTON doing whiteface, and I got extremely confused.

Wayne County Prosecutor Kim Worthy's gonna grind this guy to dust.

Uh, no.

I love that she doesn't have a manicure

Who died and made you queen of the avocados?

So before the inevitable flood of comment about how Chipotle is the McDonalds of Mexican food and the food has no flavor and everyone who professes to like it is a hopeless culinary plebeian, let me just say:

*Pssssht* Clean up in aisle EVERYWHERE

Ironically, the diapers ALSO come with unlimited salad and breadsticks.

Hostpitaliano!

Can I just? For one moment?

I am really digging Karen O's dress. It looks better in some other photos but they have big watermarks in the way: