I await the autopsy with great interest.

still boggling that Trump’s negative appeal is only 39%. Guy makes my skin crawl, literally

People who complain about “PC culture” are just angry that they can’t be out loud bigots anymore without consequences

Amy Schumer had a hysterical bit in her latest comedy special about her husband, who happens to be on the spectrum. Apparently, he thought that the thing to do when Schumer was in the hospital vomiting everything she’s eaten since she was 12 was to paint her portrait, and in the process, uh, didn’t exactly capture…

People who complain about “PC culture” are just angry that they can’t be out loud bigots anymore without consequences.

his first-ever bagel in an opening set. Here’s how Federer chose to cut it up:

When he goes, I'll likely slip into low-level depression.

Back in my day...when we were doing stupid shit like jumping off stuff we weren’t supposed to be jumping off, we didn’t push those that chickened out. We just called them names and ridiculed them for a few months.

“So if you friend jumped off a bridge would you?”

Is McConaughey rapping now too?? I see new Lincoln commercial coming up.

She looks ridiculous. It’s not a nightclub, sweetie.*

You really need to pay someone money to tell you “wear a black non-descript dress”? And a cocktail dress and choker isn’t even a good look for a courtroom. Her frames are much too heavy for her face and colouring and she couldn’t do something with her hair? I would think it would take a woman lawyer three seconds to…

This is my cat, his name is Twizzler. He is big and sweet and I love him.

I only drink unsweetened black coffee and don’t like Twizzlers or Red Vines.

What are your thoughts on Japanese cheesecake? It was wild in my city when it came out back then- just huge lines! Then I had one and it was fine. It’s light and fluffy but when I want cheesecake I want a cheesecake so dense not even light can escape its gravitational pull. 

Ginger snap crust is infinitely better than graham cracker crust.

Most of my food preferences can be traced back to my mother

I like to include a specific positive memory of the loved one. As you mentioned, people often fear their loved ones will be forgotten. 

Unless you’re sure that the bereaved is a believer, leave your own religious sentiments out of it.

“Two what?”