But OMG. So unsafe! Chernobyl, etc.

Well to be fair, the Duchess does wear a lot of Jenny Packham. I like everything I've seen Jenny Packham design for her so it's working out pretty well.

I would not even be surprised if that were true.

50 lashings for spilling her Diet Coke right before walking and for needing human sustenance in general.

This is exactly the kind of elegant, curve-flattering, vaguely goth gown I intend to wear on the red carpet while accompanying my boyfriend Miles Teller to the 2015 Oscars.

Yup, I literally want to own every single one of these.

Can't wait to see this on Princess Kate!

"A woman with a hairy body has essentially four vaginas—two armpits, the asshole, and the vagina itself."

Jesus. Today really is a day where I feel like a bug on the windshield. I was joking. I love animals and was trying to make the point you can't just have a bunch of puppies there and expect me to walk away without them. Humor fail. Sorry.

If you are going to propose with 15 dogs, you sure as shit better be ready to adopt all those dogs and find a place in our new home for them. Otherwise, you are horribly mean and not my kind of husband material.

"We had this patient who suffered penile fracture after running across the room and trying to penetrate his wife with a flying leap," he says.

This is the greatest story ever told.

Anecdotal Fact: Most penile fractures occur during extramarital affairs and the repair involves a technique called degloving.

A six-hour a day workout is fucking crazy, not to mention potentially dangerous

The minute I start trying to count calories for ANY reason, I go right back to anorexia. My doctor asked me to keep a food journal and I had to call her three days later to say, "I started starving myself again so that's not going to happen SORRY."

The scary thing about this to me is that I am no so sure that I would be able to act differently than she did. I think I would cave under the pressure of her situation. With a TV Show plus money riding on how much weight I lost.

Hey anger bear, to be given a choice as to whether to go home, and unlimited access to your own cell phone is so far beyond what the average brown/3rd world person caught up in immigration problems receives that complaints about privilege are quite literally laughable.

Yes, but.

Then the OCD in you should get with the times.