I know where he is coming from, I got a charlie horse the other day, and despite the pain and my body screaming at me to stop, I kept at it and finished that bucket of chicken.

Suicide. Is there a shortcut this guy won’t take?

The first foul ball I caught after 40+ years of attending baseball games I kept.

Speaking of undeserving, I’m going to tell my dumb foul ball story . . .

This reminds me of when Butt Fuck Sluts Go Nuts vol. 14 came out and the local theater ran all 13 previous Butt Fuck Sluts Go Nuts films in the BFSGN-iverse the day before. Took an hour and a half.

Bow before the one true GIF

“Wait a minute, this sounds like rock and/or roll...”

(for reference)

My favorite moment was the Pittsburgh fan next to me who said “this is what happens when you have an expansion draft...”

The Patriots losing the Super Bowl is like heroin. I don’t need it all the time but it sure makes spending an afternoon with my family more enjoyable.

His team mobbed the sh*t out of him after the buzzer.

Jeter gift basket jokes are so old, Roy Moore doesn’t even notice them while walking through the mall.

You are right. Its wrong. You are a fucking degenerate. You are the problem with the world today. Good god, what an asshole.

Looks like Garrett Bolles to me, who can most aptly described as “someone who didn’t score high on the Wonderlic test”.

I love that it wasn’t enough for Alejandro Villanueva to have a moment of reflection in the locker room as the national anthem played. Instead he’s basically Flag Batman responding to the call. “Must...salute...flag.” If you start playing the star spangled banner, that man will show up, hand over heart. Try it right…

“Why do we only care about separating families as a result of a crime being committed is illegal immigration?”

From the post game write-up:

I’m still waiting for a three or four way to for a second wildcard and the actual playoffs being delayed a week while those teams play each other.

It took me 20 minutes to figure out this Kinja system and the first time I’ve commented on Deadspin in 5 years just to say “this is one of the best jokes I have ever read on Deadspin holy shit I’m dying laughing”.