Instead of Muslims, we should check at the border if people are NFL fans.

“Vengeance is ours! In your face, John Paxson!”

Sue who? Sue me! Sue everybody! For punitive damages, sir. I’m very, very hurt by you.

Hell I’d knock a bunch of shit over as well if I found this. Woof.

Well, this one time in the ‘90s, my family went on vacation. We have a big family, and a winter storm knocked our power out, and somehow the person in charge of making sure we were all in the airport shuttle miscounted. So I got left home alone for a couple days. No biggie, I found some cash for snacks and pizza, but…

Browns fans wake up from three days of football-induced depression and think:

I get the anger, but it’s just a game. Wishing a mass shooting on anyone is fucked up beyond belief. You should be ashamed of yourself.

To: Barry Petchesky- barryp@deadspin.com

RBIs! Yes! Take that you fucking Rs-B-I heathen fucks!

Now is my time to shine and I got nothing.

As a proud Towson graduate, I believe I speak on behalf of all alumni when I say “We have a swim team?”

While I would never step foot in one of his establishments, I do enjoy Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives, for the fact that it gives national exposure to local chefs doing great things in the culinary world.

Say what you will about Guy Fieri, but that man is living his best life. Look at that man’s happiness! He exudes pure, unbridled joy! I don’t get it, but I’m not gonna knock him for it.

LOL! this article sucks right. I hate this website.

Yeah, well, that’s just like, your opinion, man.

I think you don’t know how Deadspin works. Everything is wrong and no one does anything right. Everyone is dumb, the collective is brilliant.

I teach high school freshmen. Same.

Ronda didn’t lose. Holm won. Let’s give her some headlines!

Meh. I don’t blame him for trying. Not much different than pulling out a 2-year-old PBA card that you got from some guy you barely know.