When the developers said they’d moved the remains to other cemeteries, did they happen to mention which ones? If so, that’s even more cold-blooded than just casually paving over generations of family history.

The convenient memory lapses at critical junctures is also a big tell. In their world, guns just “go off” and people “are shot,” with seemingly no agency by the perpetrator. It's a kind of magic!

I love the dog’s “just look at this putz” expression. The dog knew!

Weird to reread this at an eight-year remove:

I love Banks, too, alhough the idea that these two insufferable twerps are also fans has made me question my taste.

“Europa, the smallest of the four moons orbiting Jupiter.” Aaachtshually, Jupiter has 79 known moons.

Seems to be the next stage in the slow-motion collapse of Kinja. Whether by design or neglect, who can say?

On Amazon, at least, I only read the middling reviews. They tend to be a bit more nuanced and consider the good and the bad of a product.

That line should be the mantra for anyone working in crowd control.

They’re the grown-up kids of people who took the Pound Cake speech and “Pants on the Ground” seriously. If they can just be “respectable” enough, they’ll wake up one morning white.

Whenever someone says “Im a free thinker,” I automatically hear it in Ralph Wiggum's voice.

It’s bad enough when these guys own 90% of the world’s wealth.

Is it 1935 yet?

https://images.app.goo.gl/jQxMW2X6mpmCw5mu6

You reminded me of the Bill Bryson story.

I’m more of an optimist. I predict a “People’s Front of Judea” vs “Judean People’s Front” flurry of microschisms, with various MAGA subgroups endlessly screaming at each other for being insufficient loyal to whatever it is they’re supposed to believe.

Not to mention 20 years banging the “9/11" gong in support of every authoritarian impulse they could dream into existence.

My driving test involved turning right out of the DMV lot, turning right five more times (I literally drove around the DMV, then back into the lot), then parallel parking in a space big enough for a battleship. That was it. I didn’t even have to show I knew how to turn left.

I thought “Why take down Lewis & Clark?” then saw Sacagawea cringing behind Big Man’s flowing cloak like fucking Gollum. “Ah, yeah, that’s no good.”

They are wonderful drinking-game fodder, though. Take a drink every time: