Someone leaked a draft of his acceptance speech:

Damn, I put my phone down for one day...

Wait, so he’s dropped the “I was only named in the suit because that’s how the law works” defense and is now admitting he was a scumbag? That didn’t take long. I assume the “as a father of daughters” line is coming soon (he’ll have to rent some daughters for this to work).

He’s got the perfect face for whatever type of evil overlord he ultimately decides to become.

I think Kanye heard about “stadium rock” and got the wrong idea.

Being invisible has its advantages. The spolight of blame for all society’s ills passed straight over Gen X on the way from Boomers to Millennials.

I was doing fine during mine, until my evil brain decided to wonder what would happen if there was an earthquake and the power failed. I was not doing fine after that.

No, no, no. Not just “Homeowners’ Association.” “Homeowners’ Association Pool Committee.” That’s orders of magnitude more petty. That’s “I don’t want to be milk monitor. I want to be HALL monitor!” petty.

He passed with flying colors.

One thing that happened between the two censuses was a big rise in the popularity of DNA ancestry services. I wonder how many whiter than white respondents now feel “multicultural” because they discovered they’re 1/150,000,000,000th Navajo?

I like it! Although it’d probably turn out humanity extinguished itself three hundred years earlier, through climate change and toxic waste, so the aliens would find an empty planet when they arrived.

If it cost $5, I could see getting some minor amusement out of paying him to claim the recent election of a new treasurer for my neighborhood association was “stolen,” but $199 is too steep for such nonsense.

You may be right. I watched it too, but virtually nothing stuck aside from how unbelievably buff JK Simmons was.

They do, but can you imagine our current Congress deciding to do something as “bipartisan” as that?

Another (among many) absurdity of this movie is the idea that anyone from our coddled, self-absorbed, necissistic society would lift a finger to fight a war thirty years in the future. Hell, half the population won’t take basic steps to protect themselves against a pandemic that’s here right now.

Hmm, forcing people to work against their will and using law enforcement to drag them back to the planta...er...statehouse. Reminds me of something I can’t quite put my finger on.

I’d go a step futher and wait 50 years or so after they're dead, until most of the documents relating to them have been declassified, so we can see what shady shit they did out of sight.

That was sort of my take. I love LeVar Burton, but I initially thought “Hmm, he’s a bit too upbeat and nice for the job. Needs a little more edge to carry it off.” Then I thought, “Why shouldn’t he make the job his own? Do we really want Trebek cosplay forevermore?” So I’m back on Team Burton.

I understand he received credible information that the killer is an avid golfer. That’s why OJ is out on the course every day: he’s relentlessly hunting his quarry!

Since the only knowledge Cuomo seems to posess relates to (1) being disgustingly handsy, and (2) hanging on to a job like a tick, I’m having a hard time seeing what’s going to take two weeks to “hand over.”