Typical youngest kid stuff.

Well, they launched an initiative, pumped out some PR, and made a few grandiose speeches, which is about as serious as the UN gets about anthing.

Especially ol’ Monotooth Mapother. Most people have two at the front, Tom, so maybe hold off critiquing others’ dentition until you look less like a cartoon molerat.

And you get to use all their stuff. Sounds great!

How do you think Trump got elected? He’s the earthly embodiment of the God these people worship.

The rumor-mill says he’s dating Haley Atwell, his costar in MI:4858683. Run, girl!

Translation: “I spent $800 on a generator, so I’d have electricity when the apocalypse comes, but it’s taking too long.”

What are the chances their entire “theology” is based on a Thor comic the founder read when he was a kid?

With maybe a blood eagle or two thrown in, as a warning to others.

Walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, etc...

Only the best people.

Seriously. The name itself should merit a costodial sentence.

The official major is “Pre-med Until I Fail Organic Chemistry Then Maybe Media Studies.”

The “Protect and Serve” slogan has always had a silent “the ruling class" at the end.

Of course. If only we could find the right magic words, cops would see the errors of their ways, the light of sweet reason would dawn in the minds of all Americans, and everything would become sunshine and daffodils instantly. Oh well, back to the drawing board!

Thrill to the exploits of “Power Man” and “Iron Man” and “Secondary Sexual Characteristics Girl!”

It’s also pretty rich to be crowing about “heritage” when your organization is barely a year old. I’ve got socks with more heritage than that.

Yep. Also really fucking selfish. And over the past year, we’ve seen at least half the country fall into one or both of these categories, so I'm not optimistic.

And, as usual, the rich will be putting on dresses and rushing for the lifeboats.

First, blame the computer. If that doesn’t work, blame some low-level employee. If that doesn’t work, blame the media.