It didn't shock me she grew up Mormon, which has a particularly racist past as a religion. I imagine that had something to do with her ignorance.

She's basically Steve Buscemi from Reservoir Dogs.

Me too, though I doubt it. He wasn't much of a reader.And he was vaguely afraid of computers (hence why I had to buy him a plane ticket).

True words, my friend. True words.

This gif is making my life.

"Sorcia, I'm in love with your best friend [a dude with a hilariously ridiculous name that I cannot post here]. We're moving to Virginia and I hope you'll be happy for us."

I ain't proud of this.

This is the best thing I've ever learned about you.

I'm short. I would totally do this.

Me: "You want a cigarette? I always offer homeless guys cigarettes."

Mr. MacNasty went to first grade at the height of the Cold War and proudly announced he wanted to be a Cosmonaut. "You meant astronaut, don't you?" the teacher prompted, whereupon he expounded at length on the superiority of the Russian space program.

There's help for that.

CTHULHU IS NEVER WRONG.

It is so fucking aggravating.

CTHULHU HEARD THAT.

Anchovies are magical manna sent from heaven. If we don't eat them with great relish, we anger the Elder Gods and bring about a Cthulhu Hell-scape.

Lethal, I am dying over here. Mostly because I also owned plaid capris. And I wore the shit out of them. Not to prom, granted, but hey. It was 2001!

More hours in the day to make out!

USUALLY. I USUALLY want to make out with you.

*throws arms around long-lost twin*