Imagine if the Parrot took the stand in court

On a scale of 1-10, Madeleine, how proud are you of that headline?

Nah, for some reason these horrible, racist, mean mofos outlive everyone. They’ve literally made a deal with Lucifer or bitterness is like formaldehyde,keeping them preserved well past reasonableness. Scalia had been on borrowed time for at least a decade. Shit, Dick Cheney’s had 5 heart attacks and is walking…

He’s also evil, which means he’ll live forever.

He sounds like he thinks this is a credit to him. “I have all the best storms. The biggest ones! Tremendous rainfall!”

Same here. My mom is well-meaning and progressive, but she totally plays into the ‘whataboutism’ shit like this, and downplays the need for social resistance. Also get a lot of my friends telling me just to pay less attention and go on hikes or do hobbies. Maddening.

Those goddamn emojis though. You may need to leave a flaming bag of dog shit on her stoop.

“I feel like if you’re going to go the open relationship route, both partners have to want it and be on the same page about it.”

Has MVP’s boyfriend met a specific person he wants to sleep with hence he’s come up with this? I would probably think so...

I love that it’s a plot point for them.

It figures that they chose a “love story” that’s actually about Stockholm Syndrome rather than one between two consenting people who care about each other...

Harley and Poison Ivy (in a poly but healthy arrangement) or GTFO.

Sheesh. Looks like proper kerning died, too.

I have no idea who that is but suddenly am VERY interested in finding out.

is there any chance that Tyler Hoechlin was tom’s stunt double on that film? because, i mean...

Relationships are investments, do not let a bad one emotionally bankrupt you. 

I’ve always been REAL suspicious that anyone who tells you you’ve gotta look past stuff like this is secretly harboring some toxic shit of their own and wants the reassurance you’d look past that too.

Unsolicited advice from someone who survived a very necessary estrangement from her own mother: beware of anyone who attempts to convince you that you should be able to look past this. I wish someone had told me 20 years ago that “blood is not thicker than safety.” Thank you and good luck.

“It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.”

Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett’s Good Omens.